The Infuriating Question - Why Lie?
by SilverJem5
Summary: A one-shot continuing the conversation at the end of Lady Midnight. "Mark was like an art piece which you studied from afar in admiration and tried to understand, but to do so, you had to move closer, to get to know it better. He was the opposite to Julian, whom she could sense and understand even with her eyes closed."


**A/N: This is a one-shot continuing the conversation at the end of Lady Midnight, so be careful because there's spoilers if you haven't read it yet! I know the ending could be interpreted in different ways, but here's my thoughts on how it could have gone.**

* * *

 _He held out a hand to her, half-beckoning, half-offering._

 _"Why lie?" he said._

Emma stared at Mark, wondering if he was being serious. He certainly looked it, his mouth set in a determined line, and his arm still and unmoving, waiting expectantly. There was a stillness to him which spoke of Faerie, and it unnerved her.

Swallowing, she pushed past her uncertainty and took his hand. He raised her hand to his lips, brushing them delicately against her fingers in a fae-like gesture.

"Well?" He asked, in a low tone. She shivered at the touch, and pulled her hand back slightly, to hide her uncomfortableness as she considered his question. She loved Julian with all her heart, there was no doubt about it. So trying not to lie would be a lie in itself, for how could Mark ever be a substitute for the person she loved most? It was nicer though, to think that perhaps they could be happy. That she wouldn't have to pretend anymore.

"We can try," she said, after a pause. "I know neither of us particularly like lying," she added, knowing that pure fae couldn't lie, and that's who he'd been living with for a while now. She knew better than most how hard it was to forget your past.

Mark inclined his head, a smile lighting up his delicate fae features. "We can try," he agreed.

Turning away, he started to the door, pulling her along by the hand behind him. "Come on, let's go up," he said, and she didn't need to ask where exactly. She'd seen herself how comfortable he'd seemed on the roof before.

As they made their way to the edge of the roof, the breeze helped to calm the blush on her cheeks. She'd never dated anyone quite as charming and self-assured as Mark. Perhaps that was because she'd never dated anyone with fae in their blood.

Mark let go of her hand and sat down, gazing up at the sky. Emma sat down as well, following his gaze, before studying him.

Watching him subtly, she wondered whether he could hear the horn of the Hunt, or see their figures in the sky. He certainly searched the sky, as if he were looking carefully for something. She'd be a fool not to know he'd cared about Kieran in the past - perhaps even now - but after all that had happened, and with one of them stuck at the Hunt, it seemed impossible to her that anything could happen. Perhaps a relationship - or just some company - was what Mark needed too, to take his mind off things, she thought as she watched him force himself to look away from the sky.

His eyes returned to hers, and his blue-green Blackthorn eye sparkled mischievously. The sun was still setting, and the light added a brilliant red tinge to his pale blonde hair. She smoothed down her dress again, thinking she probably didn't compare much to the fae at the Courts in terms of looks, no matter what he'd said. Their elegant, beautiful features were well known in the Shadow world.

"Do you miss the Hunt?" She asked, without thinking. Only afterwards did she think she might have offended him.

He took it with good grace, although she could have sworn his golden eye darkened slightly, and his expression was slightly wistful. "Yes and no," he answered carefully, always one to try and tell the truth. "There's some parts I miss - exploring new places, the freedom and the vast, wild spaces. However, there's many things I do not miss in the slightest."

She gave a nod, not being able to relate fully to what he was going through. She couldn't imagine all the challenges he'd faced, even though she'd faced her own demons too. Mark was no longer the boy he once was. He was a different Mark, a stronger one. It struck her that if trials and hardships matured a person, then the two of them must be nearly as old as the immortal Warlocks.

The other side of Mark, shaped from his time away, was just as interesting as it was unnerving. He was like an art piece which you studied from afar in admiration and tried to understand, but to do so, you had to move closer, to get to know it better. He was the opposite to Julian, whom she could sense and understand even with her eyes closed.

"I'm sorry to make you do this," she started, keeping her voice steady. "It's just-"

"You're doing it for Julian," Mark interrupted, nodding. "Yes, I understand. And that is why we must do this. But there's no reason why we can't enjoy it, too."

He considered her carefully, thoughtfully, as he leaned in towards her. "Let's try something out," he said, and before she could ask what, he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her.

Emma took in a sharp breath of surprise, freezing for a moment, before returning the kiss. It was so different to kissing Julian. Mark was experienced, having obviously kissed many times before, while Julian was still new to it all, and hadn't quite mastered it yet. But with Mark there wasn't the same spark of being tied to the person, as there was with Julian. She suspected it was to do with the parabatai bond, and the way she always instinctively knew how Julian was feeling. However kissing Mark wasn't unpleasant... it was just different. It was wild and untamed and unfamiliar and heated. She supposed it was an experimental kiss, to see if they could work.

Mark's lips were soft and moved against hers without hesitating as he wrapped a hand around her waist to draw her closer. Emma rested a hand against the back of his neck, feeling the ends of his hair tickle her hand. She closed her eyes for a moment, losing herself in the kiss. It was the ultimate distraction, and she tried to forget about Julian, about the delicate way he held her, about his eyes-

She was the first to break the kiss, pulling away from Mark and breathing hard. He stared at her questioningly, raising a hand to his lips, as if wondering what she thought.

"I think this could work," he said, watching her. "If you let it."

Emma merely nodded in response, calming her breathing. She would try, at least. She would try and bury thoughts of Julian and how it felt being in his arms at the bottom of the ocean.

"I should be honest with you, since you're going out of your way to help me," Emma said, shifting away from him slightly, to a more comfortable position so they could talk again. "I'll tell you what I can, so that you can understand why."

Mark didn't say anything, waiting patiently, silently, as she gathered her thoughts.

He continued sitting patiently as she explained what she could, leaving out some details, like how intimate she and Julian had been. She let on enough that he would know the basics of how they felt, and what would happen if their feelings continued.

Mark looked surprised. "I never thought Julian would be able to hide something like that from me," he remarked. "Then again, we have been apart for a long time, and he is almost a different person now."

Emma nodded, and he continued, turning serious again. "I will help you out, Emma Carstairs. I will be here to help you bear the burden."

She couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief, and she let herself rest her head on Mark's shoulder. She let him take a little of the burden she was weighed down with. Funny wasn't it, thinking that love could be a burden. Something that burned you from the inside out, so you couldn't breathe, and you couldn't think about anyone but them. They never told you that, when you were younger.

So they sat in a comfortable silence for a while in that position, with Mark being careful not to move and disturb her. As the stars came out, he pointed to a number of them, showing her each one he'd named after his siblings when he'd been at the Hunt. She could see how much he had missed his family by the way he talked about them - his voice catching, and not as steady and calm as it had been previously. It was more human, she couldn't help but think.

They sat like that, reminiscing in the past until late at night, and Emma hoped that maybe, just maybe she and Julian would get through this, even if they were parted.

She hoped Julian would be able to find someone else as well, even if it killed her.


End file.
